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1.
Fiddled the locks and I turned on the lights, and I tried at the laces but the knots were too tight, so I sat on the floor and I swore at the night that so shameful, and graceless, and crookedly hung. But the neighbors were sleeping, so I bit my tongue. Oh, my mother's a brave woman, she sits at home while my father's away. My father's a strange lover, and I am too sorry to call her today. Early that day I had taken a stroll, where the sidewalks are breaking and the grasses take hold. I was struck by the way the sun calmly alights on the faces of buildings, and the people outside, and a timeless regret twisted sweetly behind. I have a teller who's so friendly! She knows my name and she asks, how's my day? When we're talking about the weather, I am transported, oh, miles away. Some days you'd bring me a soft animal, and the teeth were so loving, and the eyes were so full. Or you'd tell me a story of bodies you've known, and the words were surprising, and the images bold, and it takes all my strength not to let it take hold. I bought a book for it's old binding, sent from an age so discreet and refined. It told the life of a great poet, brought page by page to its place in my mind.
2.
Woman who I called an animal, like a ball of yarn chasing after your paw: I was on the edge, I went jumping in. I wanted to bring water over your skin. Will you let me in? You know I’m not him. Cleo, let me in. You know I’m not him. No man, no man. I went for a drive, saw they scraped the old field down. Pulled around and left, passed your house and back to town. While you coalesce, put the rest upon the shelf. Just remember, this book won’t write itself. Cleo! Come back in! You are my best friend. Come on! Come back in. You are my best friend.
3.
Youth 05:20
Well, the night was quiet. Just another moon. And the rough electric wire whispered in the room. I was called in light, like a child to the rules. I recalled the fire of the flesh of our youth. You moved ever fast and higher, like a lost balloon, but your blood swelled with desire and you came too soon. You resolved to fight; it was all you could do. I was wrong, I lied; it was all I could do. Stretched along the eastern water, two-thousand miles of you. House of cards built for your daughter, yet to find a womb. Carry on, go hide from the strength of your youth. I am gone, inside all the strength of my youth.
4.
Good to Go 02:37
Saw you through the window, you were wearing my black dress in the snow. Like a single apparition we were getting blessed, going home. You’ve been making plans to get out of town. I’ll be taking care, it’s a long way down. Settle down to ordinary, let push come to shove, slow. Taking time to notice I don’t want to be in love. No, no no no! You’ve been making plans to get out of town. I’ll be taking care, it’s a long way down. Take it to the forest where forgotten people grow in a house of stone. When I leave the river I’ll be leaving it alone, and it’s good to go.

credits

released June 12, 2019

Joan Kelsey: guitar, vocals
Connor Armbruster: fiddle
Raquel Velho: cello

Recorded live by Pete Shapiro at Caffe Lena
Mixed and mastered by Joan Kelsey
Cover design by Little Nook Studio.
Cover photo by Joan Kelsey

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Joan Kelsey Seattle, Washington

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