1. |
Alone
04:49
|
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Raise the glass that overlooks the driveway,
watch the house spill out on the yard.
No one ever knows
where a feeling comes from.
Raise a hand, noticing the air move.
Take it back, leave it on the ground.
When you’re young you can’t know
where your mind will go.
I know you loved me,
even though you couldn’t say it
but it’s not enough to want to,
something’s gotta draw it out.
Shaking voice, pacing in the bedroom.
How’d it get to measuring the miles?
Then the sheriff caught you in his headlights
running in your bathrobe on the shoulder.
You know I loved you,
even though I couldn’t say it
but it’s not enough to want to,
something’s gotta draw it out.
Standing out on the grass,
taking one last look,
then you took the time
to leave it all in order.
Do I know enough now?
I don’t want to leave it alone.
I don't want to leave you alone.
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2. |
Dust
03:30
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Suddenly you’d lived too long,
standing in the sun blinking,
dust on the neighbors lawn
blowing out for miles.
When all the sound was gone
counting down for no reason,
blood from the bathroom wall
pooling on the tiles.
I understand
all the damage you caught.
“Get on with it,”
I’ve had the thought.
Yellow jacket in the fort,
marigold in the garden,
cold apples in the fall,
horses on the rise.
When all was said and done,
never cared for the seasons.
Blood on the bathroom wall
flowing from your eyes.
I understand
all the damage you caught.
“Take it in hand,”
I’ve had the thought.
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3. |
Pachomius
03:56
|
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Then the mountain wood, the enemy, self immolates and blows its breath across the lake to the western shore, where I spend my days with the journals of John Woolman. The summer light falls through the haze, reminding me of something that I saw in May. By the county fair the dust was high when I saw Henry walking home.
Always been one to look out for the unseeded.
Face in the light and the eyes in the yard meeting.
Call it to mind and I break down without warning.
By the Trader Joe’s, the Rowan tree offers fruit of protection for all my thoughts, but it can’t intercede for the shoplifter when the manager calls the cops. In the desert I could find the Word on each stray piece of paper that I picked up. In the city I take walks just to throw out the time, impatient with life.
Always been one to show up where I’m not needed.
Face of the clock is the eye of the all-seeing.
Blink of the eye, I’ll make time for it in the morning
Oh, Pachomius, I need you here. Show me how to be giving when I ‘m alone. I apologise ‘cause I’ve never prayed with full faith to your Mother.
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4. |
||||
Light over our faces,
blinking hard,
hand on my heart
out on the yard.
Light on
over the old garage.
Lands so hard on the grass
can almost hear it fall.
Trying hard to hold it all at once,
a childhood,
I turned the radio on.
Oh, Survivor!
We sang along.
You climbed up
over the old stone wall.
Leaning back in the car
we took the corner hard.
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5. |
Hero
02:35
|
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Hero, I look back.
The living room we crawled around.
Hero, I crawl back.
The animal, the heart, the ground.
Britta, I crawl back.
The animal, the circus act.
Britta, I call back.
The living you, the animal, the ground.
Making it up,
making it up, the world we made together.
The ground opened up,
the ground opened up,
the ground, the call, the heart,
come back.
The animal, the heart, the ground,
come back.
The living room we crawled around.
Hero, I look back.
Britta, I crawl back.
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6. |
Aiden
02:25
|
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7. |
Nothing Lasts
05:40
|
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By the oceanside,
ossified and gray,
entangled in the tide.
Holding out the palm,
taking in the rain
in the early calm.
It’s a lot to know,
even more to say,
what it meant at all.
Frozen in the wood
like a captive of the coast,
statuary of a ghost.
The warmth of a face
and what went wrong,
throw it all away,
nothing lasts too long.
On his hands and knees
fighting with the stain,
doing what he could.
Bottom of the tub,
chemicals and blood
running down the drain.
It’s a lot to know,
even more to see,
what a body does.
Folds his daughter’s clothes,
throws his own away,
try to make some space.
The warmth of a face
and what went wrong,
hard to look away,
nothing lasts too long.
The warmth of a face
and what went wrong,
throw it all away
(out on the grass)
hard to look away
(taking the time)
throw it all away
(one last look)
nothing lasts too long.
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8. |
Tulsi
01:45
|
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Tulsi, rose, and lemonbalm
steaming in the kitchen.
Out of focus on the phone,
trying hard to listen.
Take the bag out,
throw it away.
Hang on, my fault,
I walked away.
I step to the door
and right outside.
“So tell me more,
I think you’re right.”
Tulsi, rose, and lemonbalm
steaming in the kitchen.
Take it walking,
calling home.
What was I gonna say?
What was I gonna say?
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9. |
Terrible Stories
03:35
|
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Running out of Mom and Dad’s
holding up all the loot you had,
looking at the photographs
on the way back, and we laughed.
We talked about it all,
the action of their voices
cutting through the upstairs hall
like brutal warnings,
those terrible stories
that we all tried to deny.
I remember sunrise mass,
holy water on the knee-high grass,
Father John and Freihofer's
walking back under the conifers.
Peace be with you all!,
the pastures and the horses
flooding from the neighbor’s stall.
Time isn’t only
those terrible stories
that we all tried to survive.
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10. |
I Thought About the Rose
02:26
|
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Driving out of sight again,
took the corner hard
as I thought about the rose
in my family’s yard.
Turn it on my tongue,
turn it into rhyme,
and I’ll sing it for them all
in good time.
Driving out of sight again,
Fast around the bend,
takes a lot to leave behind
a friend.
Holy Fathers far behind,
holy land ahead,
hold me now and ever
among the dead.
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